Are YOU a Well Ancestor?

My grandfather was a sociopath. Legit.

My mother who was codependently loyal to his domain, still resents me for not crying at his funeral.

It's the only funeral in my entire life I didn't cry at. Not like I "intentionally" withheld that from him...I just...didn't.

But he's in my bones, and his story is alive in me somehow, in all the darkest ways.

I don't frequent graveyards these days like the thrill seeker and introvert situation that graveyards used to inspire in me. So I was intrigued when it was obvious I was being guided to go to both sets of my grandparents graves with flowers.

One set, I hardly knew...the other, the sociopathic/codependent set, practically raised me.

I asked my oldest son if he wanted to come along. He said, "I would love to go for old Grammy but...nah, I'm not doing anything for old Pappy." I heard his sentiment but reminded him that the point of our visit, is for healing "that" thing in us that's dark and hollow in his name.

Still, he declined.

My grandmother was the only role model I had for "nice." Which retrospectively meant...codependent AF. I walked up remembering the day I placed my grandmothers casket in the ground at that very spot.

I immediately felt my mothers rage that I didn't show the same allegiance to him that she did, and that I did her mother, while I knelt down, placed the flowers, and said a prayer that went something like this.

I ask to be surrounded by Christ Consciousness, and speak from It while I come to you today.

I'm here in surrender to the well aspects of you, that are alive in me. I'm here to ask that your most successful parts, show themselves in my life, and that your lives not be in vain as your best parts lift our legacy from the grave, and open up through me, the grace, peace and good fortune of a life that is bathed in true love and connection. I ask that you configure in your source, the blueprint for the success of all my relations from the most loving aspects of you, and sequence it into shape in my DNA that we all may succeed in me, with your support and acknowledgement.

Something like that anyway.

Ya see, my grandfather was a rapist, a pedophile, an abuser (not like I slammed my hand down on the table and scared my wife kind of abuser, but beat her bad enough to hospitalize her on multiple occasions and made her beg to come home, kind of abuser).

But, he was a farmer. A successful one. Which meant, he was a self sustaining entrepreneur.

MY GOD, that's my dream and it's also so hard to see him as such when all I see is...predator.

He won lottery tickets more than anyone I've ever seen. Could definitely use some of that carefree luck he'd have when he expected to win, and did, and gave a stink eye as if he was entitled to it when he threw it down on the table.

He loved to play card games and take care of his beagles (despite naming one of those dogs after a child he had outside of his marriage and taking care of said dog, more than said child). I sure could use that same permission to play.

He knew how to take a good nap and prioritized his own self care without breaking his back to deserve it. Which I could really take notes on.

Point is, it's clear to me that he was a sociopathic fucktard who destroyed my life in more ways that I can probably even fathom. BUT, I must have willingness to accept that I have his blood in my veins and if I deny all of him, I deny a lot of me.

There are well ancestors, and well parts of sick ancestors, that can be called forth to support us on our journey.

If they're calling you to sit with them and ask for their best parts to be a compass for your own energetic signature, sit and ask.

So I sat, and I asked, at both sets, and was surprised to feel a sense of rejoice at my asking from the set of grandparents I wasn't close to in form. I felt them...sooooo there. I felt seen, I felt in control, and I felt grateful to be able to give them flowers. All of them. Because ALL of them...are all of me.

We don't get to pick our parts, but we DO get to pick whose in charge of our parts, and what parts we allow to dominate.

I call forth the well parts of all of my ancestors to leave a legacy in their name, with the name I was given by them.

It's such a simple invitation and such a powerful reception.

To being a well ancestor for our predecessors,

Stac